Hearts of Angora
by noodle-caboodle
Summary: Time Squad gets a mission to help out one of the worst movie directors of all time, Ed Wood!
1. Chapter 1

It was after lunch when Otto tried to teach Tuddrussel how to play another of one of his games that he had been brought up on in the twenty-first century. Paper covered the table, all with drawings of stick figures dangling from gallows and letters at the bottom that never got to be actual words. Tuddrussel sat there looking at the sheet of paper that had only three dashes at the bottom with exasperation. Otto looked triumphant, smiling as he waited for Tuddrussel to guess another letter.  
"Come on, you can do it!" Otto said. Tuddrussel sighed as he looked at Otto, annoyed at the child's enjoyment with this. "Uhh- 'a'?" Tuddrussel guessed.

Otto nodded with satisfaction as he wrote the letter 'a' on the second dash. Tuddrussel felt some relief, only two letters to go; maybe he would finally win Otto's stupid game of Hangman.

"F" ? Tuddrussel guessed again. Otto giggled as shook his head for no. He then drew a circle, which Tuddrussel dreaded. "Aww come on, kid. Give me a break!" Tuddrussel said.  
"It's a THREE letter word, it's not rocket science. And you only have two more to go, just wait until you get another letter right at least." Otto said. This was the fourteenth game they played in a row and this was the first time Otto decided to just dumb down the game by giving Tuddrussel a simple, preschool level word.  
Tuddrussel groaned as he tried to figure out another letter to use.

"G "?

"Nope."

"S"?

"Nuh uhh."

"R"

"No way."

"P"?

"As if."

"Aww, ok- 'N'?"

"Nooo."

"T"?

"YES!"

Otto stopped drawing the stick figure that was now only missing a noose and the scaffold to write the letter 't' at the third dash.

A T

'A word that ends with 'A T' ? What the heck could that be?' Tuddrussel frustratingly wondered as he stared at the paper. "Ok, if I guess one more letter, and I guess it wrong can I get a hint?"  
"Mmm hmm, go ahead." Otto said, smirking.

"B"? Tuddrussel guessed nervously.

Otto tried to stifle the laughter. "Sorry." He said as he drew the line that made the noose.

Tuddrussel slammed his fist on the table, causing several papers to flutter to the floor.

"Now give me a hint dang it!" Tuddrussel shouted.

Off-put by this, Otto shook his head and huffed, "Fine, the word is the name of a"-

The history instability alarm cut him off.

"The name of a what? The name of a what?!" Tuddrussel panicked.

Otto shrugged his question off as he hopped out of the chair.

"I'll tell you later, we've got work to do!"

Tuddrussel growled as he got out of his seat and started to try to catch up to him.

"Hey, no fair!" Tuddrussel shouted. Otto laughed as he ran into the control room where Larry was busy typing in the information needed so the computer could tell who they were needing to see today.

Otto stopped running and casually walked over to Larry's side as the image of a man with neatly combed black hair and a finely trimmed thin mustache appeared on the main computer screen. Tuddrussel walked over to the other side of Larry and began to read the information given to them.

EDWARD WOOD JR.  
HOLLYWOOD CALIFORNIA  
1952

"Edward Wood Jr…" Tuddrussel drew out the name. Larry leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, and quietly anticipated Otto's next burst of energy.

Otto gasped in excitement.

"Oh! Ed Wood! He was a movie director that was notorious for being passionate about filmmaking despite his severe lack of talent. He wrote and directed movies that were so poorly produced, that they are considered to be practically unwatchable, but to a "So bad it's good" degree."

Larry scowled at Otto. "So bad it's good? Otto, you can't possibly mean that."

"Are you kidding? I love movies like Ed Wood's! I used to watch a show called 'The Mystery Science Picture Show 2000' on Saturday nights at the orphanage that'd play his stuff, like 'Plan Nine From Outer Space'! " Otto said. Larry scoffed, standing up he replied, "It's going to rot your mind, garbage that's all it is. Well, let's go see what we can do to help this 'director'."

-Hollywood, California, 1952-

The Time Squad found themselves on a movie lot. They walked out into a busy intersection where people- mostly crew members and actors were all chatting and carrying on with their business.

"I wonder where we can find him?" Otto asked.  
Tuddrussel looked over, and with a smirk he reached over and grabbed the nearest person that was walking by, jerking him up by the collar of his shirt.  
"Hey what give's Mac? " The man barked. Tuddrussel got into the worker's face and began his usual police routine.  
"We're lookin' for a Ed Wood. A scrawny guy that makes stupid movies."  
The man laughed at Tuddrussel, while struggling to get out of his firm grip he replied "Stupid movies? HA! Edward Wood is the latest big shot director and he is certainly not making anything but the next big blockbuster, what are you talking about?"

Tuddrussel shook him roughly. "I didn't ask ya to give any lip! Just tell us where he is!"  
"Ouch! Easy! Okay pal, he's over in soundstage sixteen."  
"Great. come on you two." Tuddrussel said as he shoved the man back.


	2. Chapter 2

The door to soundstage sixteen was wide open as actors in bizarre, and elaborate costumes came out for lunch.

Tuddrussel snorted a laugh, "Man, look at these freaks. Hey buddy, how much are they payin' you to look like a walking pincushion?"

He nudged an actor who was wearing a shiny, silver colored outfit that had large, bejeweled pins protruding from his white wig. The actor raised his head up, very much offended. Tuddrussel walked away to follow behind Otto, who was undaunted by the sight as he walked past them. Larry clasped his hands in awe at the site of the actors, admiring their outfits.

"Oh! I wonder what sort of film they're making in there?"

Tuddrussel rolled his eyes. "Whatever it is, it's probably going to suck."

"Guys, look at this place!" Otto piped up.

They entered the soundstage, looking at all of the technical equipment that was being placed down, or moved for the next scene by the crew members.

Surrounding them was a few elaborate sets that were either in the middle of being built, or being cleaned up from the previous usage. It wasn't clear to them what kind of movie was being made here. The first set they walked past looked like an office belonging to a powerful dictator, complete with marble like walls and a giant bronze eagle statue in the elegant lobby that was adjacent to it.

Another resembled the courtyard of the Palace of Versailles- with plants, fountains, and live peacocks and parrots being herded by their handlers.  
And the most impressive of all looked like the lab of a mad scientist with beakers and test tubes, Tesla coils, huge computers, and high rising platforms and catwalks.

"Well, whatever this stuff is supposed to be, it's certainly going to be huge." Larry said.

"And right you are." A man spoke behind them.

The Time Squad jumped; spooked by the sudden voice they turned around to see who snuck up behind them.

It was a tall, pale man with slicked back hair and a pencil thin mustache. He was wearing a starched white button up shirt, with a pink angora sweater neatly tied around his neck and skinny black pants and polished leather shoes. The guys shared a look of relief in believing this had to be Ed Wood. He smiled at his guests who had found their way into his set.

"What can I do you for you boys?" Wood asked.

"Are you Ed Wood?" Otto spoke up. " The director?"

"I certainly am, kid. Oh dear, are you all actors?" Wood asked. The guys eyed each other anxiously. "Just let me explain," Otto began.

"Now, hold on here. I can see you all have made brilliant costumes but we're not offering new parts. So you better leave now before I call security." Wood said firmly.

Otto shook his head, "No, no, no! We're here to help you in a more uh. . ." Otto struggled to find the right word, smiling as he added, "uh- 'technical' way? Yeah! That's it."

"I'm sorry, kid, but you three have to find work somewhere else. I've got all the workers I need." Wood said.

"Sir, we're time travelers from the future," Tuddrussel butted in, pushing Otto back. " And as a police officer, it is my duty to inform you that we ain't leavin' until we set your life back to the way it's supposed to go according to historical continuity."

Wood raised an eyebrow to the statement. "Even if you all were who you say you are, why do you think my life needs some kind of fixing? I'm living the dream!"

"Sometimes we all need a step in the right direction, Mr. Wood. We're just here to make sure you stay on the path." Larry said, trying to be comforting. He gestured towards the sets, adding, "So what sort of movie is this, anyway?"

Wood's eyes lit up with glee and he beckoned the guys to come forward.

"Well, if you really want to help me, I'll tell you. But you can't go around spreading company information around all right? So, to put it simply, this is going to be Hollywood's biggest epic to date: An epic romantic sci-fi spectacle that the world has ever seen- 'The Heart and The Machine!' A tale of two young lovers who have to break apart their society's oppressive government."

Otto made a face that made it clear that he was unenthused by the idea. "Is that really necessary?" Otto asked.

"Otto, don't be like that." Larry chided. "What he means to say is, that's a very 'ambitious' project." Larry said quickly.

"It may sound strange, gentlemen- But it is absolutely necessary that this movie gets made!" Wood said gleefully. "This movie has everything it needs in order to be a hit- Action, adventure, romance, dystopian morale! This is just what America needs." Wood didn't notice his three new guests exchange glances.

"Come, I was just about to screen the footage we shot yesterday to the board of executives, you can see for yourselves what I mean. I promise you that you're going to love it, Elizabeth Taylor is simply divine!" Wood said, wanting to guide them along. Otto and Larry followed first, with Tuddrussel sluggishly following suit.

"Great…" Tuddrussel grumbled.

They sat there in the middle of the small studio theater next to Wood. The director was absolutely giddy at watching his work, not noticing how some of his friends kept glancing to the back, where the executives sat. They looked grouchy and bored as they watched the dailies. It made Larry and Otto in particular wonder how they'll take Wood's work. Tuddrussel stuffed his face with popcorn, more interested in the stale food than into the actual scene.

On the screen, Elizabeth Taylor, the leading lady from what the Time Squad could gather, was being chased through a dark catacomb with only a candle to guide her. She was expressed terror and anxiety as Bela Legosi, dressed in all black stalked her. She comes to a dead end, crying out in dread as she feels around for a way out.  
Suddenly a bright spotlight shines directly on her. She whips around, like a scared animal in the headlights of a truck she trembles at the sight of her pursuer.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" Taylor called out.

Larry crosses his legs and methodically taps his fingers on his raised knee. 'This isn't half bad.' He thought to himself. 'Which is a pity. . ."

Otto watched thoughtfully as the heroine tried to run off from the danger. She makes her way up a staircase that leads to a series of doors. She calls out for help, and frantically pounds on each door to no help from the other side. But Bela catches up to her. Dread creeps into Elizabeth's face as she realizes with finality that she is trapped and doomed to whatever fate awaits her. The scene fades to black and then cuts off.

The lights come on, and the guys are in total shock at what they just witnessed.

"That was. . .really good." Otto said, hating to admit it. But it was good. Possibly even amazing once it was finished. Somehow, Ed Wood was not only passionate about his career, but he was actually competent at it.

"Wood, I've got one thing to say to you," A fat, balding executive said as he and the other men walked up to them. "That was excellent!"  
The other two men, who never stopped frowning nodded in agreement. "I had my doubts about you, but this is satisfactory." The beady eyed one said.

As Wood and the executives talked and gave notes, the squad was able to whisper amongst themselves.

"Oh, goodness…" Larry said for a lack of anything better. Tuddrussel slumped against the wall looking peeved. "Can you believe this? They actually liked that slop? I mean, it's something my mom would watch." Tuddrussel groaned.

"Now, I don't know about your mother's taste, but I thought what we saw was quite good." Larry defended.

"And I don't know about you two," Tuddrussel said, "But I don't think that this mission needs our help, this is going to bomb, just to wait and see."

"That may be, but this isn't the kind of movie that Wood's supposed to be doing," Otto said. "He's supposed to be making b-grade, low budget movies, not epic award winning films. Guys, this is bad!"

"He's only the director. He's just lucky that he's got a good script, an all star cast, a professional crew on his side." Larry reasoned.

"So okay, just hear me out- what if he's secretly bad at his job and he just fakin' it until he makes it? " Tuddrussel wondered.

"Huh. You know, you might be onto something," Otto agreed. They watched Wood as he nervously smiled, and laughed at the men's jokes.

Shortly after the screening, they left the movie lot after Wood said to meet back at the studio early in the morning to start working on set. They had walked around Los Angeles to sight see a little bit. And eventually they found a hotel to stay for the night.

"Man, what a dump!" Tuddrussel said.

The room was sketchy at best. There was only one bed, and while it was big enough for all three of them it certainly didn't look like it could withstand all three of them. The walls had cracks and there was water leaking from the ceiling and it *tinged* against a spittoon on top of the desk near the window.

Larry drew open the yellow curtain that revealed the neon lights of a strip club across the street.

"Ugh, Los Angeles is such a deplorable city!" Larry said.

Otto went over to Larry to join him in looking at the scenery. Outside a gun shot rang through the alley way just below the hotel, where a gangster ran out looking frazzled. Screaming from an unknown source followed.

Otto forced a small smile, saying, "It's pretty bad, yeah."

"Your reassurance frightens me, my dear." Larry said.

"I'm used to this, just stay inside and don't go near the windows. Let's try to concentrate on the mission ahead and not worry too much about our living situation." Otto tugged on Larry's hand and pulled him away from the window.

They sat down at the rickety card table that was provided for the room, and they all tried to think about what to do next.

"So, what's your plan, kid?" Tuddrussel asked.

"Why are you asking me?" Otto questioned.

"Because I'm out of ideas," Tuddrussel smirked, glancing at Larry he added, "Unless Rust-Butt has a plan of attack, you're free to go nuts."

Larry's eyes narrowed. "It so happens that I DO have a plan, Tuddrussel."

The two looked at Larry curiously. Tuddrussel snorted a dry laugh. "Then don't keep us in suspense, what is it?"

Larry primly strengthened up to speak. "If there's one thing we can do, it is to make Ed Wood look terrible to those executives that are funding his movie. It won't be easy, of course. But if we do that, he'll be back to making low budget movies in relative obscurity like he's supposed to."

Otto thought about it. Looking back to what he saw at the soundstage; he remembered all of the props that lay on the table, the lights that were being adjusted by people atop of giant ladders, and the camera being wheeled around on the dolly. There was so much organized chaos in one room it was almost insane. Gasping, the idea came to him, he saw that so much could go wrong in this environment that it would be totally possible to make things go horribly for everyone on set and shut the project down.

"So are we gonna sabotage the movie?" Otto asked.

"Yes. Looks like we have to." Larry meekly replied. "I hate to do this, honestly. But I don't think we have any other choice."

"Alright! Liking the way you think!" Tuddrussel said enthusiastically.

Larry sighed. 'I know this is going to turn ugly. .' Larry thought despairingly.


End file.
